Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. What can I say besides, “What were you thinking?”
As I was driving in to my office this morning, I was listening to KFAN 100.3 FM in Minneapolis and I heard the news today, oh boy, of your attempt to salvage your career on the football field you have decided to return back to the Minnesota Vikings and your teammates. No doubt you will be embraced warmly by the Vikings staff, players and your fans as you are ndeed a good football player.
This off-season we all listened to your “team” pontificate about all the other teams that you would be better served to play and deep down I was hoping that you simply would just go away to another team. Yes, the Minnesota Vikings’ fans would be a little miffed, but I was seriously hoping that the management team of the Vikings could have completed a reverse, Herschel Walker-esque trade back to Dallas so that we could rebuild the team without any distractions.
While I know this many not resonate well with you, I am an executive of a company and if you were one of my employees I would have fired you for insubordination. You see, in the great State of Minnesota, my colleagues (including myself) are considered “at-will” employees, which means none of my colleagues have “guaranteed contracts.” This doesn’t mean that we can do things “at-will,” Adrian. We have an employee handbook that we must abide by, which also includes social media policies, so Adrian, unfortunately I cannot sympathize with you during your most recent Twitter rant. Quite àpropos, I will paraphrase the Benjamin Franklin statement, “In life the only things guaranteed are death and taxes.” My employment isn’t guaranteed and neither should yours at this point-in-time.
Furthermore, for over 40 years I have been a die-hard Minnesota Vikings plan yet I have never owned a Minnesota Vikings jersey. According to the NFLPA’s website, from Fiscal Year 2014 through Fiscal Year 2015 (ending February 28, 2015), your jersey sales fell from 13th in the NFL, down to 27th, right in-between Nick Foles and Jamaal Charles. So buck up kid, at least you were ahead of your most excellent teammate, Teddy Bridgewater, at number 49.
Finally, while I have the ability to buy season tickets for this upcoming season as well as that in the new Vikings stadium, I solemnly pledge to never buy season tickets for the team I love and adore, the Minnesota Vikings, as long as you are a member of the Minnesota Vikings. Therefore, I will pleasantly watch from my big-screen television, listening to Paul Allen do play-by-play. His voice truly makes my day.
In Skol We Trust,
The Product Poet