The Purloined Letter
Dearest Mr. Poe,
This morning, The Black Cat, the one that had The Premature Burial, presented An Engima. At first, I thought it was The Angel of The Odd, but The Black Cat was Loss of Breath purring on my stoop.
The Black Cat claimed to be The Sphinx, hence we are in A Predicament. Therefore, myself, being The Business Man I am, decided to write you this letter, The Purloined Letter, that Lenore, The Raven and I would be honored to have you as our guest at Landor’s Cottage for an evening of fratenizing and Lionizing.
If you could oblige, please bring The Oblong Box, so that we may enjoy its contents. We will serve The Duc de L’Omelette and plenty of glasses of absinthe. Of course, William Wilson, The Man of The Crowd, will also join us to utilize The Power of Words, to conjure Some Words with a Mummy.
I of course, no longer being The Man that was Used Up, will imbibe what Ms. Found in a Bottle. Once consumed, I anticipate a Mesmeric Revelation which may shed light on The Mystery of Marie Rogêt and The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar, collectively referred to as The Murders in The Rue Morgue.
Please forgive my driveling and Diddling, but as your most loyal fan, I feel like a King Pest asking you to join us. I beg you to not think of me as The Devil in the Belfry, nor myself, William Wilson, Lenore and The Raven as the Four Beasts in One.
You reminded me once to Never Bet the Devil Your Head, but please come to help us rid ourselves of The Black Cat. If not for me, then For Annie, as she is trapped in The Haunted Place, listening to The Bells in Silence. Together, the five us us, with The Oblong Box, the absinthe and what Ms. Found in a Bottle, we shall eat, drink and live A Dream Within a Dream while we travel to The Valley of Unrest to free her.
As there are not Three Sundays in a Week, if you do not come in a fortnight, dinner will be served Alone with just the Spirits of the Dead.
I await your response, but I will forever be respectively yours as Thou Art The Man.
The Product Poe(t)
For Day 3 of National Poetry Writing Month, the napowrimo.net prompt was to write a fan letter to a celebrity or a famous person. As I am a big fan of Edgar Allan Poe, I decided to write him this fan letter asking him to come over for dinner. In case you didn’t know, bolded words were pieces written by Edgar Allan Poe.