Modern Day Lines For the Fortune Cookies

I think you’re wonderful and I liked you on Facebook.

Just as Kim Kardashian is having Kanye’s baby, so will you – you gold digger.

You will see your skinny latte drinking friend and text her LOL.

You will go on orbitz.com to book a trip, by yourself, as you haven’t gone on match.com.

You will marry the first person, who is as crazy as you are.

In the beginning, there were bulletin boards, today it is Pinterest, I guess.

You will write a great play and upload it to YouTube.

Please phone TMZ immediately, they’ve already interviewed your friends.

Big Brother and his drones have their eyes on you.

Relax a little, illegally download some movies from Netflix.

Your first volume of poetry will be self-published on your WordPress.com blog.

You’re a West Coast rapping legend, with an East Coast fan base.

Your walk has swagger like Jagger.

You will eat prison food prepared by Martha Stewart.

Who do you think you are, anyway? Donald Trump? You’re fired!

You think your life is like Puff Daddy, but it’s really like Vanilla Ice.

A few dance lessons with Shakira and who knows. Yah, nothing will happen.

That’s not a tear in your sock. It’s Lance Armstrong’s hidden PED device.

I realize you’ve live in Silicon Valley and had a failed startup, but you do not know Zuckerberg.

You should wear masks more often, to hid your pain.

The next person to speak to you will propose to you over Skype.

A lot of people in this chat room, want to stalk you.

Have you seen The Colbert Show? Craig Ferguson’s? Jimmy Kimmel’s?

At times, you looking at my profile seems creepy, to your exes.

Now that the election’s over, your taxes just rose. Congrats.

You are a prisoner at Cinnabon’s bakery and you lick your way out.

Your are a gluten-free Pescatarian. Why do you eat fish?

Within Instagram, there are horizon pictures of gloom.

You could be the King of Social Media…Like me…Retweet me.

The Product Poet

Source for prompt: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/lines-for-the-fortune-cookies/